Reality TV rules our television sets these days – from shows like The Bachelor to Geordie Shore and Keeping Up with the Kardashians, we just can’t seem to get enough of real people and real lives. Or in some cases, real people being made to look like complete idiots. But while programmes such as the X factor, Big Brother and TOWIE have been instant successes, not all reality television shows have been as popular. We’ve delved into the telly archives to being you some of the WORST reality TV shows ever seen, and ask the question: Just what were those producers thinking??
Cirque de Celebrite
The premise of this show was simple – get some ‘celebrities’ to master various circus tricks, and make them preform in front of an audience. Unfortunately none of the contestants took to circus life particularly well. Also, when your most recognizable ‘celebrity’ is Boyzone’s Shane Lynch – that’s bad.
There’s Something about Miriam
The poor contestants on this show had no idea that they were the punchline of a very public joke. While 12 men thought they were competing for the attention of a beautiful lady, the public all knew the truth – that Miriam was in fact a man. This wasn’t revealed until the final episode, when – as expected – it all kicked off spectacularly, with one contestant threatening to sue . Awkward and uncomfortable.
Imagine that you’re jetting off to your holidays. You’re sitting on the plane, 35,000 feet in the air with no escape. Then ex X-factor contestant Chico appears trying to serve you a beverage. Yes, it’s the stuff of nightmares, but ITV2 also thought this would make good television! Sadly, their audience didn’t agree, and ratings were terrible.
The littlest Groom
American TV show The Littlest Groom attempted to find 4′ 5” Glen Foster a wife. The programme attempted to address some of the issues surrounding predjudice towards appearance, but sort of just ended up laughing at small people. Tacky.
The Farm was supposed to show the hard reality of farming life, and draw attention to the plight of British farmers struggling to make a living – by watching as various D-list celebrities attempted the day-to-day running of a working farm. Unfortunately it will only be remembered for one thing – Rebecca Loos pleasuring a pig. Ick.
Footy wives split into two teams – and had to set up and run designer clothes boutiques. Had Cheryl Cole and Victoria Beckham been involved this would have been an instant hit. Unfortunately they were not, and we had to make do with the likes of Krystell Sidwell and Julie Brown. No, we don’t know who they are either. Snoooooze.
Celebrity Love Island
D-list celebrities were sent off to Fiji for this programme, which would have been fine – apart from the fact that it was filmed, and shown on TV. There were actually more arguments than romance, leading to the show being axed… eventually. It limped along for three series before producers finally realised that people just really couldn’t care less if Callum Best kind-of fancied Biance Gascoigne.
Former Steps star Lisa Scott-Lee set herself a challenge- get a UK top ten single – or give up music forever. This was mainly worth watching because, let’s face it, everyone knew there was no way Lisa was getting a hit. Sure enough, the final episode showed the devastated ‘singer’ sobbing down the phone – having only reached Number 13. Mildly entertaining.
Playing it Straight
Hosted by June Saprong, Playing it Straight was a twisted version of The Bachelor. One woman spent time with 12 guys, half of whom were gay. Her task was to eliminate all the gay men, who were pretending to be straight – in order be the last man standing and win. How modern. In fact, the whole concepts harks back to the dark ages, when gay men had to hide their sexuality through fear of being ridiculed, or worse. Not exactly the best message to be promoting!
Hosted by Dermot O’Leary (oh how far he’s come) 12 contestants had to go without sleep for seven days, while preforming tasks that tested their mental fitness and dexterity. All this to win an 100k prize, which went down by 1k every time someone closed their eyes for more than ten seconds. If you can’t quite grasp what this show was like, imagine watching your dad try to stay awake for more than 5 minutes while watching TV, waking him up, and making him do a couple of sums. Yawn!