TOWIE Series 3, Episode 4: “I’m going to pelt them with eggs”

If there’s one word that sums up the latest episode of ITV’s ‘The Only Way Is Essex’, it’s ‘bitching’ … and we’re not talking about the girls! It seems those Essex lads are pros at a bit of behind-the-back-gossiping, and the claws were well and truly out last night! New BFF’s Mario and Kirk started […]

If there’s one word that sums up the latest episode of ITV’s ‘The Only Way Is Essex’, it’s ‘bitching’ … and we’re not talking about the girls!

It seems those Essex lads are pros at a bit of behind-the-back-gossiping, and the claws were well and truly out last night!

New BFF’s Mario and Kirk started the bitch-fest, when Kirk visited Mario at work. What does Lucy’s new hunk do? We hear you ask. Is he a boxer, perhaps? Well, it turns out that the beefed-up Essex boy is a tailor! Ok, we know it’s not that funny, but we couldn’t help having a bit of a giggle at the sight of ‘hard-man’ Mario working a sewing machine.

The pair gave Mark a good old fashioned slating – calling him a “dog” and laughing at his “pigeon-chest”. We’re not quite sure what that means, but it doesn’t sound like a compliment.

Meanwhile, the Sam-Joey storyline continues to limp on, as the ex-couple met for a drink to “clear the air”. They exchanged a few words, Sam had a little cry, they went their separate ways. Anyone else completely bored by this now? Sam and Joey were so last season!

To be fair, Sam doesn’t really have much else to talk about – she features in a pretty pointless clothes montage with Harry at one point in the episode – which serves no purpose other than we learn that Harry does not, in fact, want to be a trans-sexual. Dear god someone give the girl a storyline!

Maria and Mick take the next step in their (slightly disturbing) relationship, as they go on a first date, on which they talk about the government – very intellectual – and Maria spits wine all over the place – classy.

Poor Gemma isn’t happy when she hears that romance is afoot between the two, saying she’ll “pelt them with eggs” if they ever get married. That, we’d love to see!

In other news, Kirk and Joey play conkers – wearing outfits that suggest they think they’re a couple of characters from the Famous Five books, while Jess prepares to open her underwear shop.

The whole gang turn up to the launch night of Jess’s lingerie line -  involving lots of nearly naked models and even more inevitable drama.

Mark finds out what Mario’s been saying about him, and the pair exchange tense words – Mark actually comes out looking the better of the two, which is a first!

Credit is due to Lucy, too – who apologises to Lauren for her behaviour in the past. We never thought we’d see those two being civil to each other, but after a very sedate conversation it seems the air is cleared! Take note boys!

Oh, and hilarious moment of the episode goes to Nanny Pat – who shocks Mark when she starts unpacking adult ‘toys’ as she’s helping Jess set up her new shop. His expression is priceless! “Oh this one’s got batteries!” she grins. Go Nanny Pat!

So, now you’re up to date! Tune in to ITV on Sunday at 10pm for more brilliant Essex drama!

The Bachelor UK Episode 4: ‘You’re not wearing that are you?’

After a week’s break (due to the football – ugh) The Bachelor returned to our screens on Friday night, and what a show it was! The episode kicked off with another ‘2 girls 1 rose ’ date  – which are always guaranteed to be great viewing! This time it was the turn of love-sick Carrie […]

After a week’s break (due to the football – ugh) The Bachelor returned to our screens on Friday night, and what a show it was!

The episode kicked off with another ‘2 girls 1 rose ’ date  – which are always guaranteed to be great viewing! This time it was the turn of love-sick Carrie and feisty Keshia, who set off on a camping expedition with Gavin – knowing that only one of them would be returning to the house.

Gav had the girls putting up tents and weeing in holes… hmm romantic! He did manage to squeeze in a chat under the stars with both though. Keshia calmed down and actually spoke to him like a normal person while Carrie managed to contain the crazy … but Gav still sent her home. Gutted doesn’t even cover it.

This meant that Keshia and Gav got to spend the night under the stars together… ooo alone, in a tent, all night? What did they get up to? They spooned, apparently.  Carianne seemed simultaneously overjoyed and horrified at this news. Overjoyed because ‘she was there first’ and horrified because ‘who would just spoon!?’ As for Keshia, she came over all giggly schoolgirl and refused to reveal any details!

A group date followed, which involved the girls stripping down to their underwear… again. Yes it wouldn’t be an episode of The Bachelor without some nudity! Under the guise of a ‘life-drawing class’ Gav had all the girls pose for each other, and channel their inner-artist. Ola’s winning sketch won her the chance to spend some one-on-one time with Gavin… drawing him naked! ‘I’m so jealous… he’s naked isn’t he? He’s so naked!’ squealed Nikki.

Next, it was Layla’s turn for a single date. But trouble was brewing. As she was preparing to meet Mr. Henson for their trip to St. Tropez, Carianne crossed the line no lady should ever cross: “You’re not wearing that are you?” she smirked. Meow! Cue big argument, which involved Layla getting changed multiple times. Seems the joke’s on Carianne anyway, as Gav seems smitten, and admitted he’s really falling for the pint-sized lass… just don’t tell the other girls!

Finally it was time for the fourth rose ceremony… and tension was even higher than normal, as Gavin revealed that the group will be jetting off to Italy next week! Who would be going home? Well, despite winning some private time with Gav in the life-drawing class, it was Ola who was sent packing. Sad times… but at least she got to see Gavin half-naked before leaving! Memories last forever Ola…

Just nine girls remain – who will win the heart of the bachelor?! We can’t wait until next week!

Geordie Shore, Episode 4: Constant Arguing Dividing Housemates!!!

Shock horror, this week’s episode kicks off with a massive argument!  The on off couple (can they even be classed as a couple?) Jay and Vicky have a huge argument as they both get jealous when the other starts to ‘tache on’ with someone else.  For people who apparently don’t care about each other or […]

Shock horror, this week’s episode kicks off with a massive argument!  The on off couple (can they even be classed as a couple?) Jay and Vicky have a huge argument as they both get jealous when the other starts to ‘tache on’ with someone else.  For people who apparently don’t care about each other or what the other thinks, they certainly have a funny way of showing it!

So with them constantly arguing and the rest of the gang having brought back some new ‘friends’ no one even noticed that Holly had left!  It wasn’t until the next morning when Charlotte woke up and found a note from Holly and then noticed that her wardrobe was empty that they even realised she had gone.  Oh dear.  This pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the episode.  There are arguments a plenty.

With Vicky and Jay totally single now (even though they weren’t really together) the girls decide to go on a triple date and ask boss Anna to help them find some lovely lads to take them out.  With so much tension in the house and the house seeming to be breaking apart a bit, you know that trouble is ahead.  Gaz takes a girl out on a date, but the funniest part was the cringe worthy call that he made to arrange the date.  Charlotte pretends not to care, but I’m not convinced.  When they eventually see this mystery girl Charlotte describes her as an inbetweener and comparing her hair to an orangutans.  Ok…!

So far, quite a strange episode! I’m not as convinced as I normally am with the program; the constant arguing gets a bit boring.  Charlotte’s sausage song when she comes home drunk and is trying to cook some food provides some light relief for a bit.  You know it’s not going to last long though, and right enough, another night out means more arguing.  This time it’s the girls that are arguing.  In fact basically it’s Vicky arguing with everybody.  Vicky felt that she had been stabbed in the back and was both angry and upset, which is obviously made better by the vodka she was drinking by the gallon load.   Not!  More fighting, more crying, that’s all you need to know really.  Probably some more kissing and goodness knows what else.  Not my favourite episode of Geordie Shore to date but I will of course continue to be glued to my screen because you can’t help want to know what they will be getting up to next.  Come on guys, time to change the tune a bit!!!