Geordie Shore Magaluf Madness: Part 2!

The two-part Geordie Shore special continued on Tuesday night – as those Geordie lads and lasses continued to ‘get mortal’ in party capital Magaluf! The episode kicked off with a huge argument between the girls and the boys – leaving tensions high and a clear divide for the rest of the trip. Our favourite moment […]

The two-part Geordie Shore special continued on Tuesday night – as those Geordie lads and lasses continued to ‘get mortal’ in party capital Magaluf!

The episode kicked off with a huge argument between the girls and the boys – leaving tensions high and a clear divide for the rest of the trip. Our favourite moment came the morning after ‘the fight’ when Gaz had to get a cab with both Charlotte and Vicky – awkward!

A large part this week’s show was devoted to Gaz, Charlotte and their love/hate relationship. First Charlotte said she hated him, and Gaz said she was fat. Then Gaz decided he fancied her and a bit of drunken bedroom action followed… only for Charlotte to lock herself in the bathroom the next morning and declare she hated him again…. Yeah, we struggled to keep up too!

As Vicky put it: “They’re like Romeo and Juliet…..if Romeo was a T**t.”

Aside from romance drama, the Geordie crew did what you’d expect them to when faced with unlimited alcohol, an amazing villa and a town full of clubs – partied hard! There was a pool party – Holly got her boobs out, Gaz got lucky,  a booze cruise – Gaz got lucky, and a party at the villa – Gaz got lucky… sensing a pattern here anyone?

Yes, while Gaz – and Jay- were pulling pretty much everything that moved, poor Greg and James were having no luck at all! James managed to get one cheeky snog (“I was beginning to think he couldn’t pull a muscle” said Vicky) but there was a serious lack of action for the geordie duo.

Perhaps if they’d followed Gaz’s rules for pulling they may have had more success. Yes, Gary told us all that you should “never, ever buy a girl a drink.” To be fair, it does seem to work for him!

So at the end of the holiday, relations between many of the group were pretty strained…. As far as we’re concerned, that will just make the second season even better! Can you hurry up and film it please MTV??

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Geordie Shore girls ditch the make-up!

Geordie Shore girls Vicky Pattison and Charlotte Crosby have dared to bare all – and look nearly unrecognisable! The stars of the MTV reality show were photographed without their fake tan, eyelashes and heavy make-up for a feature in this week’s heat magazine – to show just what they look like au natural! Personally we think […]

Geordie Shore girls Vicky Pattison and Charlotte Crosby have dared to bare all – and look nearly unrecognisable!

The stars of the MTV reality show were photographed without their fake tan, eyelashes and heavy make-up for a feature in this week’s heat magazine – to show just what they look like au natural!

Personally we think that Vicky, 23 and Charlotte, 21 are naturally beautiful girls and look brilliant without a ton of make-up, but they don’t seem to agree.

Vicky told heat magazine: “I feel much more confident with it all on: tan, concealer, foundation, powder, bronzer, blusher, mascara, eyeshadow, false lashes, the lot! I’m definitely out of my comfort zone today.”

Wow! It’s a wonder the Geordie lass can keep her head upright with all that weighing down her face!

Charlotte, too, admitted that she struggles to leave the make-up alone saying: “I’m one of those girls who’ll wake up in the morning and make a dash to the bathroom and put make-up on!

“I’ve been seeing this lad for a few weeks, and this weekend I took my make-up off for the first time. I wake up with false lashes stuck to my cheek and fake tan, foundation and mascara smeared everywhere.” Yuk! All we can say is: ladies the fresh-faced look suits you!

Oh, and exciting news concerning Geordie Shore – MTV have revealed that we don’t have to wait until the second series to get a fix of those hilarious lads and lasses – there’s a two-part special due to air TONIGHT at 10pm!

Yes, Charlotte, Gary, Vicky, Holly, Jay, James, Greg and Sophie will star in two ‘unmissable summer specials’ – as the gang are let loose on party capital Magaluf. We. can’t. wait. Check out the promo trailer for ‘Geordie Shore: Magaluf Madness’ here!

Heat Magazine is on sale now.

Dirty Sexy Things Episode 7: Sink or Swim

It was Charlotte’s birthday this week, and sort-of-boyfriend BB organized a special day for his sort-of-lady – taking her and the rest of the gang to a Burlesque workshop. Of course, what could say ‘Happy Birthday’ better than watching a group of your gorgeous mates strip off? Needless to say, Jesse – who whips his […]

It was Charlotte’s birthday this week, and sort-of-boyfriend BB organized a special day for his sort-of-lady – taking her and the rest of the gang to a Burlesque workshop.

Of course, what could say ‘Happy Birthday’ better than watching a group of your gorgeous mates strip off? Needless to say, Jesse – who whips his clothes off at any opportunity- had a brilliant time, and his general state of nakedness continued for most of the episode.

Yep, ‘I want to be pushed as a photographer’ Perou revealed that this week’s big shoot would take place in the nude. As if that weren’t enough to deal with – particularly for Jay, who has body issues – the models were also told they would be photographed while TIED to the bottom of a deep swimming pool.

Now, we admit that we normally have a bit of a giggle at the model strops and diva behaviour on the show, but this was one challenge that had even us feeling a bit nervous – and we weren’t the ones relying on two scuba divers with an airtank to breathe!

Despite the difficult conditions, both Jay and Charlotte managed to nail Perou’s ‘ethereal mermaid’ brief, but Rob, BB and Jesse all struggled.  BB in particular had a particularly panicked look in all his photos – although we can’t say we blame him, we’d have run a mile when the words ‘very deep water’ and ‘tied to the bottom’ were used in the same sentence!

In other news, Jesse got turned down for a presenting job with T4 and preformed with his band for the cameras ( is there any career path the posh lad hasn’t turned his hand to?) Rob decided not to move to Milan (what an anti-climax) and Jessye B… well she didn’t really do much of anything in this episode! As for where Ocean Moon’s disappeared to… well that’s anyone’s guess.

Lastly, quote of the week has to go to Charlotte, who said Jesse looked like a ‘Chicken in a battery cage’ while attempting the sultry art of burlesque! Nice!

What did you think of episode 7? We just can’t get enough of those dirty, sexy things!

Dirty Sexy Things Episode 6: Feeling At One With Nature!

Eughh so much of this episode is about “Lord Rob” and you guessed it… his girlfriend Anastasia!  Ok so they didn’t seem so bad this time.  In fact they seemed rather normal in this episode!  It is quite amusing to watch them try and cope in Milan when they don’t speak a word or Italian […]

Eughh so much of this episode is about “Lord Rob” and you guessed it… his girlfriend Anastasia!  Ok so they didn’t seem so bad this time.  In fact they seemed rather normal in this episode!  It is quite amusing to watch them try and cope in Milan when they don’t speak a word or Italian and assumed that everyone would speak English.

Anastasia discovers that curvy glamour modelling doesn’t translate into Italian, and Rob’s tentative grasp of the lingo doesn’t help.  And no Rob, saying English words in a fake Italian accent does not mean that you are picking up the lingo!  Oh and really who goes to get a spray tan in white skinny jeans??  Crazy idea!

BB is also in Milan trying to get signed to an agency there.  After being knocked back by Elite models, because of his skin colour to say he is discouraged doesn’t quite cover it.  He is ecstatic to then be signed by huge agency Why Not.

Jay gets drunk for his 21st birthday unsurprisingly.  Why would we expect anything else from him really?  Would he actually make it onto set this time was the real question.  For his sixth shoot Perou takes Jesse, Ocean and Jay back to nature. He wants them to get into character as feral creatures. This is really Jay’s final chance to prove himself to Perou.

Perou wants them to be stripped back, feel at one with nature and feel part of their environment.  At what point does that mean you have to skin a rabbit and eat it before heading into hair and make-up?  Very strange.   The photo shoot looks something like Alice in Wonderland meets Edward Scissor hands but this week just as interesting without characters like BB and Charlotte!  Bring back our faves next week please!!!

Dirty Sexy Things Episode 5: Fur Coats No Knickers!

It’s that time of week again when we are flung into the modelling industry with photographer Perou and his 8 chosen models.  This week Perou’s chosen four models BB, Jesse, Charlotte and Ariella were taken to the very beautiful Iceland.  Not only were they taking part in Perou’s weekly photo shoot but they were also […]

It’s that time of week again when we are flung into the modelling industry with photographer Perou and his 8 chosen models.  This week Perou’s chosen four models BB, Jesse, Charlotte and Ariella were taken to the very beautiful Iceland.  Not only were they taking part in Perou’s weekly photo shoot but they were also walking the runway at Reykjavik fashion week wearing some crazy Icelandic designs.

Thankfully there was no sign of “Lord Rob” and there was no sign of drunken antics from Jay, but an unfortunate image of him receiving colonic therapy.  He was off detoxing with his mum after his embarrassing drunken antics and his bad attitude.  Glad to hear this, hopefully he will be less annoying now!  The lucky four that went to Iceland were sent off to an amazing looking hot spring spa type thing which was ruined a bit by Ariella’s annoying and childish behaviour.  She is right up there in the annoying stakes with Rob!

Now after last week, you would have thought that they would have had enough of fish!  Yet this week they head to a top fish restaurant and it definitely isn’t for the faint hearted.  It wasn’t your usual fish dishes though as they were served smoked eel, shark and whale fat.  Oh and how could we forget the special Icelandic dish that consisted of rotten fish?  It made me feel queasy just watching them serve it up never mind the thought of actually eating it.

Anyway, this week’s photo shoot with Perou was described by him as “fur coats no knickers.”  Now with prim and proper Ariella meant to be taking part in the shoot who has previously refused to wear a leotard because she thought it was too skimpy, is it practical to think she will take part in something described as fur coats, no knickers?  They were all painted black like the volcanic sands of Iceland and draped in fake fur.

Surprisingly Ariella does actually take part although is clearly not too happy about it and shows insecurities that you don’t expect models to have.  She turned up but didn’t impress!  Oh well, I have to admit I’m quite happy when Perou says he never wants to see Ariella at a photo shoot again.  Till next week then my friends…!

Dirty Sexy Things Episode 4: They Chucked A Dead Rotten Octopus On My Head!

Dirty Sexy Things is back on again and surprise surprise Jay is yet again drunk!  The majority of this week’s offering of Dirty Sexy Things included some castings, Jay making an idiot of himself (again) and a dead octopus.  I haven’t written that wrong or gone mad; there was actually a dead octopus on the […]

Dirty Sexy Things is back on again and surprise surprise Jay is yet again drunk!  The majority of this week’s offering of Dirty Sexy Things included some castings, Jay making an idiot of himself (again) and a dead octopus.  I haven’t written that wrong or gone mad; there was actually a dead octopus on the show.

The casting that two of the girls attended really lived up to the harsh nature we do assume the fashion industry has.  The people who were casting were openly talking about Charlotte in front of her so it is no wonder she didn’t look that interested really.  I wouldn’t look interested either if someone was slating me and I could hear them.  The people at the casting call really did nothing to improve the perception that people have of those involved in the fashion industry as they seemed rude and arrogant.

Jesse had an audition for a presenting role at T4.  He told a rep at his modelling agency that that was the route he wanted to head down but even I could see that he looked quite uncomfortable during the audition.  Someone had given feedback at the time saying he was quite good but it sounded like there was a massive “but…” lingering in the air that he just didn’t want to say.

The majority of the episode focused on the four models that were chosen for this week’s big photo shoot that was held in the town of Whitstable: Charlotte, Jessye B, Jay and Jesse.  It is clear that Jay and Jessye B do not get on at all and after a night of Jay drinking too much again and embarrassing himself he went home before the shoot had even taken place the next day.

Charlotte had clearly shown her hatred of fish so wasn’t too pleased to find out the whole concept of the photo shoot revolved around fish and the sea.  However, she was very professional and didn’t let it affect her one bit.  Jessye B had the unfortunate task of posing with a dead, cold, rotten octopus on her head but also didn’t let it get to her.  I definitely couldn’t have done it myself, yuck!

It will be interesting to see how Jay behaves next week but frankly I am bored of him and his stupid, childish behaviour.  I can’t imagine many people wanting to work with him if they recognise him from the show!  Oh well, only time will tell!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EchU-2S4SwA

Dirty Sexy Things Episode 3: It’s Like Hanging Out With Your Mate’s Troubled Little Brother!

Ok, I have to admit that I actually enjoyed this program this week!  Why do i seem to get sucked into all these shows eventually?  Oh well, this week was less of a borefest than last week, maybe because they all seemed less forced and less scripted! I definitely have my favourites or should I […]

Ok, I have to admit that I actually enjoyed this program this week!  Why do i seem to get sucked into all these shows eventually?  Oh well, this week was less of a borefest than last week, maybe because they all seemed less forced and less scripted!

I definitely have my favourites or should I say I know who is definitely not my favourite!  Yeah I mean you ‘Lord’ Rob!  Why does he talk about his girlfriend so much?  He tells us about her in every single episode but it’s the same kind of stuff that he tells us every time too.  Boring!  Frankly I don’t care and why is there any need to share this pointless information, we get that you have a girlfriend ok?!  I am surprised he has any room in his life for anything other than his massive ego.  I find myself gravitating towards the mute button whilst he is on my screen! (Sorry, rant over!)

Anyway, some of the boys headed to Milan to try and book some work and BB headed to Paris for a photo shoot from his new Paris agency.    Shock horror Jay got really drunk and didn’t manage to get signed to an agency.  Jesse wasn’t impressed with his company in Milan saying that Jay is like someone’s troubled younger brother and Rob is like an embarrassing Dad.  I actually kind of agree.

This week’s photo shoot is an action shoot that will involve them having paint thrown on them at the same time.  Jay is told he seems too tired to take part in the shoot so is back to his angry self and Ariella refuses to wear the leotard she is given.  Ocean has to face the same hairdresser that she had a fight with the week before who seem relentlessly petty so it’s good to see her stand up to him.

If this show is going to get better and better, I look forward to seeing it next week.  The weird world of modelling and the random bunch of models in the show are becoming more appealing.  Is it actually getting better or is it just that it’s been a while since we watched any decent reality type TV?  Hmm, I’m not sure…!

Dirty Sexy Things Episode 1: £200 A Month On Underwear?!

Now that Made In Chelsea and Geordie Shore have left our screens I was rather excited to see that a new show was headed our way.  Dirty Sexy Things follows leading fashion photographer Perou and 8 models as they create a collection of photographs for an exhibition.  The show lets us see what the modelling […]

Now that Made In Chelsea and Geordie Shore have left our screens I was rather excited to see that a new show was headed our way.  Dirty Sexy Things follows leading fashion photographer Perou and 8 models as they create a collection of photographs for an exhibition.  The show lets us see what the modelling world is really like and what it is like to live in it.

I don’t know if it was just because it was the first episode but I thought it was a bit of a weird show.  I was waiting for something spectacular to happen and it sadly never did.  As it was the first one they were introducing all the characters: Jesse, BB, Jay, Rob, Ocean, Ariella, Charlotte and Jessye B.  Yes, that’s right someone with the name Ocean!  So the models are introduced to us all and I already have my favourites!  (Charlotte, Jessye B and Jay!)

The others don’t come across very well.  Rob the beefcake seems rather arrogant and we find out that he spends £200 a month on new underwear.  Who on earth needs that many?  What is he doing with them?  Very strange.  Then there is BB which stands for Black Beauty who is trying to juggle careers in both modelling and dancing.  He moans most of the time he is on our screens about having to travel and get up early so he can dance for Alexandra Burke as well as do his modelling.  Sorry but I have no sympathy for you.  If you don’t like it, don’t do it!  Simple as that!

The photo shoot they have to take part in this week is a lingerie shoot outside on the streets of London.  As they run around in their teeny tiny pants, Perou is there in his sunglasses shouting and taking photos and then they all hop back on to their bus almost as if it was a school trip. (But with less clothes!)

I will be intrigued to watch the next episode as I don’t really know what to think after the first one.  I neither hated it nor loved it; it was just a bit bland.  It definitely has potential though so bring on the next episode in which they visit Paris!  Lucky things!!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFFCYGUCACk

Geordie Shore Episode 6: The Final Episode = Arguing And Heartbreak!

On Monday we waved goodbye to Made In Chelsea, and now it is the turn of the one and only Geordie Shore.  Boo!  The two shows couldn’t be more different from the loud, in your face Geordies to the refined and wealthy Londoners.  They will both be sadly missed even if it was just to […]

On Monday we waved goodbye to Made In Chelsea, and now it is the turn of the one and only Geordie Shore.  Boo!  The two shows couldn’t be more different from the loud, in your face Geordies to the refined and wealthy Londoners.  They will both be sadly missed even if it was just to watch (and mock) their bizarre and crazy lifestyles.

In true Geordie Shore style the final episode of the series was full of arguing, drinking, arguing, tasching on yes you guessed it more arguing.  Holly splits up with her boyfriend which is no surprise after she has continually cheated on him throughout the time she spent in the house.  However it is when she keeps saying that she is going to leave and Jay tells her that no one cares and that since she returned he didn’t like her that things really kicked off.  Shock horror Jay and Vicky start arguing because Vicky thinks there was no need to be so harsh to Holly and “kick her when she’s already down”.  We have watched this pair arguing for the past six weeks, something I must admit I will not miss.  They really stepped it up for the last episode anyway with Vicky spitting in Jay’s face and him then throwing his drink over her.  Charming.

Poor charlotte confesses her feelings for Gaz after weeks of pretending she didn’t care (she didn’t have us fooled though!)  Gaz doesn’t want a relationship and even though he promised he wouldn’t, he brings another girl back to his room that he shares with Charlotte.  Awkward much?!  It is not surprising when Charlotte is really upset about it the next day too after pouring her heart out to the lothario himself.

Not a very happy end to the series for any of them really.  I’m sure when they return for their special summer shows that were recently filmed in Magaluf that all will have been forgotten and I bet that Jay and Vicky will be tasching on some more! I hate to think what mischief they will get up to in Magaluf as they already cause enough chaos in their home town! I will of course be watching the show though, these reality shows get addictive as you can’t help but want to know what on earth they are going to do next!  Ah, what will we do without them all?

Fear not Geordie Shore fans, I guess they will be back soon enough!  Magaluf on the other hand… prepare yourself!!!

This song just about sums up our prediction for their Maga trip:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=hamKl-su8PE

Geordie Shore, Episode 5: Holly Returns And Jay Is Caught Out!

Are we seeing things or is that Holly back??? What?  After her rapid departure a few weeks back which took the other housemates hours to even notice, I definitely didn’t expect to see her back again!  Still struggling to place her?  She’s the one with the boyfriend, the FF’s and the 20 billion pairs of […]

Are we seeing things or is that Holly back??? What?  After her rapid departure a few weeks back which took the other housemates hours to even notice, I definitely didn’t expect to see her back again!  Still struggling to place her?  She’s the one with the boyfriend, the FF’s and the 20 billion pairs of eyelashes worn at the same time.  (You may still be confused, in this case look here.)

This week they all took a trip to the beach but seemed separated into boys vs. girls with an unhappy Vicky.  A well favoured past time on the Jersey Shore show but in the Geordie version the girls are wearing Uggs and were probably the only people on the beach, because let’s face it this is the UK not the USA.  The group then decide to have separate boys and girls nights out but low and behold, shock horror they end up in the same club and together again.  Further shock horror, Jay and Vicky end up ‘tasching on’ yet again!  Charlotte and Gaz get together yet again!  And last but not least Holly is sick yet again.  If it wasn’t for the change of outfits, I would swear I had been watching the same episode on repeat!

So with Jay and Vicky ‘tasching on’ at any chance they get – in between fighting that is – does this mean there is some true romance from the show?  Ha don’t be silly!  Later in the episode, the guys were working at a hen party where Jay was caught in a compromising position with one of the ‘ladies’ round the back of the hall.  What a beautiful moment of British television.

Back to Holly.  Remember when we said Holly was the one with the boyfriend? One of the reasons she left in the first place was because the rest of the gang gave her such a hard time for cheating on her boyfriend, yet she swans back in and straight away is “in there like swimwear” with other blokes.  Did you not learn your lesson last time Hol?  I guess not!

Well last week is set to be the last in the series.  What will we do without it?  Who will there be to shamelessly judge and love all at the same time?!  We hear rumours of a summer special filmed in Magaluf… oh please let it be true!!!